I thought I had a back-up plan, a pre-set disappointment to get back to when new disappointments are unbearable. I’ve known let down and I thought I was immune to the pain. Old lesions have the capacity to hurt as much as new ones, and combined they cause such severe damage.
I should’ve known that that happy state couldn’t last long.
Flowers can grow in the most gloomy places. maybe we were burried so we could witness the birth of a rose.
"Ta photo sur la bibliotheque tombe toute seule, il n’y a pas de vents, pas de courant d’air. C’est une main sans poignee, sans corps, qui l’a jete vers moi, sans rien deranger d’autre, pour me faire entendre aux bruits, c’est la main de l’oublie."
I dived deep before I learn to swim. I did not drown, I ended up resenting surface waters. The more I try the more I learn it’s not my atmosphere. Maybe I have to try a little more, after all where am I going? Can’t dive back anyway. We have lost cabin pressure. It’s like purgatory, but I’m not sure it’s purging.